While you are up on your DESK preparing to make a JUSTLY EFFECTIVE jump to an INCREDIBLE HEIGHT, you glance over to your DIPLOMA from the Filadelphia University of Mysteries (FUM).
The time you spent studying GUMSHOE THEORY and MYSTERIOUS STUDIES will forever direct the way you live your life. The diploma reads:
'THIS HERE CERTIFIES
The bearer of this certificate (PEANUT/name of bearer) is (KINDA/level) proficient in the field of MYSTERIES.
Presented (_______/adverb) on the day of (5/23/2018/date)'
It is sealed with the FUM BUTTON, so that you know it is not a counterfeit degree. You are INCREDIBLY PROUD of this diploma, and seeing it fills your heels with the spring you need to gain a BONUS to your impending leap...
Yep, unless someone were to distract you further RIGHT NOW, this jump is happening.